Day 29: Just Being

tomsan_adhd-bunny

I can’t say I am sad.

I can’t say I am in pain.

I can’t say I am unsafe in any way.

Things are falling into place. Maybe it is true…if you just wait out the negative feelings, things eventually do get better. It is the way nature works. Things go up. Things go down.

One step at a time. I think I am going to be ok.

Work is going ok.

My boyfriend is still my ex.

Relationships are slowly being mended.

School is ok.

I have flat lined in a…quiet way.

Is this what “normal” life can feel like?

I guess I just let go…and things just got going.

I am not saying I am where I want to be…but at least I am still alive and not trying to run away.

I am about to start getting my daughter with me for Wednesdays and Fridays through Sundays. I think that’s why everything else feels better…because I get to be with her again. I can press my cheek to hers and sleep. I can wake up, get her ready for school, make her breakfast and take her to school. I get to be a mom.

I get to be her mom.

That makes me feel like I have something good in my life, even when everything else doesn’t feel so good.

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