Day 15: Invisible illness

on the inside

I smiled all day. I made jokes. I made it to the end fooling everyone until I got in my car and broke down.

At around 4pm I was jittery. Felt like I could run a mile. Overwhelmed thinking about all the things I had to do.

I didn’t enroll anyone today. I did, however, make 7 appointments. I guess that’s something. I was also able to talk to a woman who has a daughter with ADHD. Her daughter is 11 years old. I am going to send her some information now. Maybe she can help the little girl before she ends up like me.

I may have to drop out of school. I may have to let that dream go. I am not finding it possible to keep things in balance. I have no idea where to go now.

Tomorrow is my daughter’s parent-teacher night. I have to try to get it together to be there for her. It’s important. First grade is magic to her. I remember my first grade parent-teacher night like it was yesterday.

Cried all the way home. I have a Skype meeting at 10pm … and an essay to write before bed. Just stopped by to let it all out.

God, I wish I was ten again. Wish I had someone to hug me, hold my hand, and tell me it was all going to be ok. I try to offer that to people I come in contact with at work. I tell them I am here to help them cross the bridge between their education and their dreams. I take on their load, get them registered, pick their classes, and help them until graduation day.

God send me an angel to do the same for me.

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